Back to Schedule, Continue Infinite Chaos

During the summer the kids get up super early. During the school the kids get up super early. I can only keep in mind it’s only 10 years to teenage years when they will be sleeping until noon. NOON. Yippeee!!! My stress level has been through the roof these past 3 weeks. My stress level was through the roof during the summer too. So, obviously I need to make some changes.

#1  take better care of myself-which means stop stress eating, start exercising daily -even if it’s a couple of sit ups or run around the house with kids

#2  do a meal plan weekly–this will reduce evening ‘what the hell are we going to have for supper?’ stress

#3  one day during the week get out of the house-BESIDES THE GROCERY STORE!!!!!

#4  try to plan home school for the week-this is unchartered territory

Enough of that. I could go on, and on, and on.

My husband has been working 6 days a week for a while now. He leaves before it’s light and gets home at 7. It has been exhausting on all of us. The kids miss their daddy. I miss him. I think. And having little help around the house is really getting to me. I am not exactly Hilda Homemaker or whatever her name is. There are constantly dirty clothes in the hamper and clean clothes thrown wherever. The teen is constantly annoyed at the messes and stays in her room most of the time. The kids are like 2 mini tornadoes wreaking havoc on every room in the house. The boy knocks things down, tears things up, takes things apart. Meanwhile, I am spinning in circles trying to figure out what to do next.

Now, my writing time is up. I have to go do housework. Tomorrow however, I plan to paint a piece of furniture. That always makes me feel better. TTFN.

Vase Lift

This is an old vase my mom gave me in oh…1996. It really felt like it was aging and needed a lift! I never really liked it much anyway.

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Beginning of pulling rope off

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Looking kinda, well you can fill in the blank here.

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It wasn’t hard pulling the rope off. But it was looking pretty hairy!!!

Sanded down pretty good

Sanding it down

So I sanded away all the nasty looking fuzz. And this is how it looked after. Some of the paper backing stuck. I was hoping it would work well to give it a ‘peeling away’ look. I used duck egg blue chalk paint.

I wanted it to look like a old vase where the paint had come off in places. I still think I may need to do something else maybe add some shine- but as of now here it is!

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Simba, Penny, Bubbles and the Staring Cat

Yesterday, I was standing at the sink washing dishes. When I looked up a neighborhood tabby was sitting in the yard staring at me quite intently. I immediately thought of Harry Potter and Professor McGonagall. Some relative person had morphed into a tabby and was watching me for some reason or another. I continued washing dishes and it continued staring. Can you say spooky?

I ran over one of our cats about a month ago. Simba. Sweet, sweet boy he was. Orange Tabby reminiscent of my oldest’s first cat. He had eyes that talked to you.

I had just gotten home with the kids from the store. He always walked right in front of the van as I pulled up. As did all our cats. I was inching up as usual then ‘yeow’. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I got out and my 4-year-old said he ran under the bushes. He wouldn’t come out, and was meowing at me. I saw his leg was hurt so I carried the groceries in, got the kids occupied so I could see about him and how badly he was hurt. When I went back out he was gone. He could barely move when I left him. I looked all over for days. He obviously went deep into the woods behind our house and died. Terrible. I felt so terrible. I still do. It’s a bad feeling to kill a family pet.

My 14-year-old was more upset than the little ones. My youngest daughter said it will be okay if he goes to heaven with Penny. We had just lost our Penny late last year. We had her for 8 years or so. Now, our other cat, Bubbles hasn’t shown up for a few days. I haven’t had him fixed yet so he wanders a bit. I hope he comes back. After Simba died he would stand at the edge of the woods in the back yard and meow. Walk into the woods. Come out and lay down. So sad. They were adopted together. Kept each other warm in the winter. Ran and tumbled and play fought. I don’t think the kids could take losing another cat. God, I’m really depressing myself here.

So back to the staring cat.

I wonder if he was judging me for being a bad cat mother. If he was trying to tell me something. Or if it was Simba- reincarnated for a few minutes watching me through the window.

Ok. Back to listening to Mumford and Sons and Facebooking. I’ve gotten too serious this evening.

Simba and Bubbles

Simba and Bubbles

Ramblings, Rain, and Legos

When I was young I was shy, feisty and stubborn. When I was a teen I was shy, feisty and stubborn. Except around my peers. I was self-conscious, scared, embarrassed and nervous. I was picked on for being quiet, called weird and felt totally like I didn’t belong. Does this sound like every other teen out there? Most likely. What is it about those years that are the hardest yet they are the best? Suicides seem common. A break-up with a boyfriend,  a social embarrassment sends us over the edge. My daughter is 14. She is not quiet. She is stronger than I was. I think, I am pretty sure that she understands herself better.

By 20 I had gained a lot of confidence. By 22 I was a mother. By 30 I still had no clue who I was or what I wanted to do with my life. At 37 I feel like I am finding my voice again. Sometimes motherhood and wifehood kind of knocks you down. Steps on you a bit. Priorities change. YOU are no longer the most important person in your life. Nevertheless it is the biggest blessing ever. My life would be so different without my firstborn. SHE has kept my husband and I together. SHE has made me stronger. SHE has made me grow and learn. SHE completely altered my life for the good.

To be honest I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I am just drinking my coffee and waking up. It is literally flooding outside and I’m worried about our poor garden. The kids keep building Lego towers and bringing them to me then dropping them on the kitchen floor. LOUD. I’m distracted. And I just came out of a deep, pms induced depression two days ago. It was really, really bad. It’s bad when my husband doesn’t want to leave me alone to go to work. It’s all good now though.

Anyway- Happy Day! Thank for listening to my ramblings!

NaNa

She made sweet tea as thick as syrup.  Biscuits like no other I’ve ever had. There was always an egg custard pie in the fridge.  The fridge outside was always full of ice-cold bottled sodas from the coke man. She hugged the life out of you. Literally. She would hug me so hard I couldn’t breathe during those 60 seconds. She talked a lot. She was a bit of a hoarder. She loved her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren to pieces. She was always so glad to see you and sad when you left.

It has been just over a year since my Grandmother passed away. She was 91. By far she was the most influential grandparent I’ve had. We lived way out in the country and they lived a short distance from us. My dad was a farmer so more often than not I would be at NaNa’s and Granpop’s piddling and playing. She let me get into every nook and cranny in that house. All the drawers, all the closets. I played with games that were my dad’s when he was little. Old horseshoes, pick-up sticks. I watched her cook and bake. She let me help make the meringue topping for the lemon meringue pie, make my own cookie recipe, taught me how to make her infamous strawberry shortcake. The talents of this woman were passed down to all her children. A lot of creativity thrives on this side of the family.

NaNa was a strong, stubborn, fussy and mean at times, but all together a sweet, loving woman. She was super crafty as were a lot of women in her day. Very talented. She crocheted, sewed, quilted, decorated cakes, and worked in the yard. This woman was ALWAYS in the yard. Not gardening vegetables, mind you. Flower and plants. Weeding and Pruning. Landscaping and un-landscaping. Planting and digging up. Whenever we came to visit she was in the yard in longs pants, a long sleeve button up shirt, gloves, tattered slip-on shoes and a worn straw hat. She always showed me her flowers and what she had done in the yard lately. Then shooed me in out of the heat to get a drink for myself.

She WAS the only grandparent that would get on the floor and play with my kids. Always, even at 90. She always wanted me to leave the babies with her. It surprises me she only had 4 children she loved babies so much. I miss this woman terribly. Toward the end most of the time she didn’t know who I was. This was very, very difficult. I think of her daily. And I hope my children will always remember her. I have so many memories of her to share with them.

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Coffee & Sunshine

CSC_0161-1Good Morning Sunshine! Bright and early at 6:45. Mom I’m hungry, Mommy I want some milk!!! Why is it when you have kids it takes so much longer to wake up? You know those mornings when you don’t finish getting to all the dirty dishes in the sink? The evenings when you have to stop the dishwasher so you can wash your husband some clean underwear? Because in this house I can’t run the any water at the same time. Resulting in like I said a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. And no room to wash my coffee press. S–T–A–R–B–U–C–K–S!!!!!!!!!!!!  Can you please just be in my kitchen on mornings like this. With the every so cheery baristas and glass case full of pastries ready to be eaten? Please??? It would be my dream to be handed a latte of my choice first thing when I am barely awake enough to step out of bed.

But not today. Good morning leftover coffee in the fridge waiting to be reheated. Smile, it’s a new day!

Bang Head Here

You know those days? The days you just feel like you can’t handle anything. The kids making noise, the dryer making noise, just everything. One of those is days today. So as the day was ending I opened a beer, sat down, and watched a couple of music videos. Breath. I need to start doing yoga. TOMORROW. I have to stop PROCRASTINATING. I would definitely feel better if my body/mind were in tune. I would totally be a different person. But right now a beer will have to do. Until tomorrow. Hopefully, I will get it together. Hopefully, it will not be another BANG HEAD HERE day.

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Inspiration

In my teens I wrote poetry or half drunk love depressed scribblings. I drew. I had creative ideas.When I fell for my husband my writing waned off. I was happy for once. I wasn’t all depressed wallowing in my sorrow. I think I read somewhere a lot of poets and artists were suffering from depression or insanity. That explains a lot, right?  Then I had my first daughter. Then life took hold.  All the while my creativity continued on it’s path deep inside. I don’t know why or how. If it was a subconscious thing where I couldn’t balance being a mom, being a wife, being a homemaker so I just keep it inside. Then 2 more kids came along pretty darn close together. I was frazzled and consumed by mommyhood. A bit depressed too.

I’ve never really decorated my home much. The lack of money for extras was my reasoning. I started reading blogs. A couple in particular caught my interest on social media. I started realizing that you can totally remake & refresh spaces on a budget & with what you already have. Painting furniture really got me dazzled.  It’s amazing what you can do with old worn out furniture and paint! It breathes in new life! As I mentioned a couple of local bloggers caught my eye. Debbie of RefreshRestyle and Jamie of SouthernRevivals. They literally have been my awakening and inspiration. Thank you girls!!!

Awesome quote to remember!

Awesome quote to remember!

Teacher’s gift made from cutting board

I am still consumed with being a wife, mother, and homemaker but I am letting the creativity out a little at a time.

BEACH sign made from old wood

BEACH sign made from old wood

Garage Sale Frame Redo

I haven’t properly gotten into the before and after picture thing. I am so impulsive I just start a project on a whim. This frame I found at a garage sale–it was just brown wood. I was going to photo it before and the process but my camera battery was dead. I promise that is truth. I really made a big, big mess with this. I had an old cork board that was beat up from my daughter’s room. It was about to go in the trash when I had an epiphany. Yes, an epiphany. I decided to wrap it in the burlap I had put under my Christmas tree. Since all that stuff was packed up I had to go searching and pulling out stuff. Which meant the kids got into everything I pulled out. GRRR!!! I cut the cork board which was backed in some sort of cardboard something. And it made a huge mess. It cut unevenly and tore. But I eventually got the burlap on, then taped it with gorilla tape. Yep, that’s how I roll. Then I nailed it to the frame. Then all out-of-order I painted the frame with milkpaint. Miss Mustard Seed’s Typewriter to be exact. It is some good stuff and really goes a long, long way with just a little. Waxed it up and TaDa!!

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Then I glued some tacks on a few scrabble letters  and on a few tiny clothespins. Then I put Washi tape on the clothespins. I got those ideas from Pinterest. Cute! Love WASHI tape! So what do you think?

Summer Veggies

The Farmer’s Market is in full swing. A lot of our favorite summer vegetables are starting to arrive. I don’t know about you but some veggies we are dying to get our hands on. Sweet corn and okra are my favorites. Not here quite yet. Oh, but there are multitudes of goodness going around right now!

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Oh…and these red onions right here. They are to die for. So incredibly sweet and delicious. I have been waiting for these since last year!!!

ALL ORGANIC-Snap beans, zucchini, cucumbers, Vidalia onions, green pepper, swiss chard, red russian kale, yellow cherry tomatoes

ALL ORGANIC-Snap beans, zucchini, cucumbers, Vidalia onions, green pepper, swiss chard, red russian kale, yellow cherry tomatoes

My 4 year old daughter really vies for attention at the market. ‘TOMATOES, TOMATOES, I LIKE TOMATOES!!’  Not on my list today. But apparently is was on hers. So the nice man asks her if she wants a tomato. Of course she said yes. Then she says ‘I LIKE BLUEBERRIES TOO! That girl was trying for some free blueberries too!

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Lila’s tomato!

This isn’t all we got today. We bought our usual milk from a local dairy. And some pastured beef and pork for the week. When your child says ‘Mom! We have to go to the market for some milk!’ –It really means something special!!