Ramblings, Rain, and Legos

When I was young I was shy, feisty and stubborn. When I was a teen I was shy, feisty and stubborn. Except around my peers. I was self-conscious, scared, embarrassed and nervous. I was picked on for being quiet, called weird and felt totally like I didn’t belong. Does this sound like every other teen out there? Most likely. What is it about those years that are the hardest yet they are the best? Suicides seem common. A break-up with a boyfriend,  a social embarrassment sends us over the edge. My daughter is 14. She is not quiet. She is stronger than I was. I think, I am pretty sure that she understands herself better.

By 20 I had gained a lot of confidence. By 22 I was a mother. By 30 I still had no clue who I was or what I wanted to do with my life. At 37 I feel like I am finding my voice again. Sometimes motherhood and wifehood kind of knocks you down. Steps on you a bit. Priorities change. YOU are no longer the most important person in your life. Nevertheless it is the biggest blessing ever. My life would be so different without my firstborn. SHE has kept my husband and I together. SHE has made me stronger. SHE has made me grow and learn. SHE completely altered my life for the good.

To be honest I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I am just drinking my coffee and waking up. It is literally flooding outside and I’m worried about our poor garden. The kids keep building Lego towers and bringing them to me then dropping them on the kitchen floor. LOUD. I’m distracted. And I just came out of a deep, pms induced depression two days ago. It was really, really bad. It’s bad when my husband doesn’t want to leave me alone to go to work. It’s all good now though.

Anyway- Happy Day! Thank for listening to my ramblings!